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| 1) Choose the right spot (assuming you're limited to a city/suburban setting) |
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A backyard swimming pool is best
- even better if there's a hot tub |
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Next best is a condo/apartment complex swimming pool
- best if you're familiar with the environment, security situation,
and if it's a heated pool, and/or there's a hot tub
- search out the large/newer/corporate developments for
better chances of scoring a hot tub |
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| 2) Create a "trust and togetherness" vibe |
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This is trippy/nature/exciting/nightswimming, not Girls-Gone-Wild
- you're doing something fun, but it's also challenging, and intimate, and some people are inevitably going to feel somewhat vulnerable. this is actually a benefit of the experience, but it's only positive if they feel safe and comfortable: So the people you invite should be mature enough to build a shared atmosphere of trust, sincerity, and respect |
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Respect women
- when guys get insecure they compensate by acting like jackasses. it's scary to show the goods in front of people, so a guy might shore up some confidence by spinning it like 'can't wait to check out naked chicks'. this guy isn't ready to swimnaked. no woman can benefit from the experience if she feels like she's meat, being gawked at, or being subjected to some tool's jokes - Choose your group wisely |
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Acknowledge sexuality, then keep it in its place
- sex, of course, at some point, comes up when being naked. a guy might check out a girl, a guy might feel like he's being checked out by a guy, etc., etc. it's not that we have to pretend like sexuality completely goes away, it never does. but the point is, sex is cheap in this situation. people hook up get naked and have sex all the time, this has been done. the point of swimnaked is to experience being naked outside of having sex. there is a humility, a heightened awareness, a closeness to nature, and an intimate respect for others - friends or strangers - that's gained when we experience being naked in a non-sexual situation. it's new territory. embrace it and evolve - leave the sexuality outside of your swimnaked event. |
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...if you've accomplished #1 & 2, you've parked the cars and gotten to the water with a cool group of people who have the right mix of mature and childlike qualities, and you're ready to swimnaked. Part of feeling safe and comfortable however, is not having to worry about apartment security guards or, worse (and unlikely) cops, so:
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| 2) Don't get caught |
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It's being loud, not being naked, that gets you busted
- No one who walks up to a swimming pool or hot tub and sees people in it assumes that anyone's naked. It doesn't occur to them for a second. And no one outside your group is likely to walk up to you anyway, in the dead of night, much less security or police, unless you're plastered drunk and or splashing and screaming and making frat-party-style noise. So, it's pretty simple: |
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Stay quiet enough to stay under the radar
- If it's necessary to be nearly silent, then try it out. nightswim hippie style. float each other on your backs, check out the sky, stand on each other so you cocoon out on the floor of the pool for 10 secs, listen to the night. talk close to each other. if you can be louder — jump in, run around, laugh, etc., go for it — just feel out the situation and be smart. |
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Be careful with the alcohol
- It's the drunks that will get you busted, every time. it's not that you have to ban it entirely, but like sex, keep alcohol in it's place. Calming the nerves is different than getting obliterated and ruining it for everyone — when we're drunk we're not good at "feeling out the situation" and no one controls how loud they are when they're drunk.
- Bring cans, not glass. Broken glass in the pool is a huge, huge deal. They're gonna get mad about the glass before they get mad about the swimming naked.
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Be discreet with removed clothing
- The pool area should look just like it would when swimming normally. Pack up conspicuous items like jeans and shoes or better yet leave them in the car so the poolside doesn't look like there was a hurried evacuation of a porno film-set. |
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Put your swimsuit (or at least shorts, boxers etc.) next to the pool
- Remember when your mom picked out your clothes and laid them out for you in the morning? Carry your swimsuit (plus tshirts, girls?) to the pool. Get in. Look at it. Put your fingers in the waistband, smooth it out, and lay it right next to the side of the pool, tag side down, front-side up. Mallcop dude on his second job nightshift is spotted 20 yards from the pool and approaching. 5 heads, who no one thinks for a second have naked bodies attached to them swim gracefully to the side of the pool, slip their suit underwater, and slide it on before little buddy can ask what unit you live in. |
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Know your line
- If you're not drunk, and not being loud, you should never get to this point. But if a hotel manager or apt security dude wants to know what's up, be quiet, be respectful, and explain your friend lives in unit # whatever. Apologize for whatever you need to, and offer to leave immediately and quietly. You'd really have to do something crazy for this not to work, or to actually get cops involved. Fear of this kind of thing is a terrible reason to never swimnaked, and since our cities are overdeveloped with these corporate complexes and concrete, their swimming pools are all we have left. Use them. Just be smart. |
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